Phoenix Rising

     In the past 8 years I've survived being burned, my brothers suicide, and divorce. This is my journey through life. This is my personal account of how I've used my challenges to rise from the ashes. The struggles, the highs, the lows, and the in between. Most importantly, how reading, running, yoga, and reading more have helped me to begin healing and how it lead to the discovery of my "Personal Legend." My awakening.
     After I was burned something happened within me. My soul came to life. I felt different. I began to perceive things differently. People weren't just acquaintances or strangers. They became part of my life experience. Each person attributed to my personal growth. My observations of others became heightened. And while I've always been a sensitive being, I have come to accept I will never have thick skin, and I must embrace wearing my heart on my sleeve as a gift and not a curse. Some label my inquisitive mind and deeper thinking as philosophical. I prefer to use layman's terms. Thoughtful. My self-searching is completely driven on the basis of how I can better help others. Along the way altruism innately cycles back around. I believe this to be a facet of the universe.            
     Giving of ones self freely is one of the most liberating experiences you can do within your life time. It is life changing. It can be as simple as holding a door into a store 10 seconds longer so that the stranger 7 feet away makes it through the threshold without a door shutting in there face. It can be a dollar for a vet on a street corner or simply listening to someone without interrupting. I had a lot of time in the burn unit at night when all my visitors had left to evaluate my life. From what I had not done with my life, to what I always wanted to do, and who I wanted to be. More then anything I wanted to get back to taking care of and helping others. I had a drive within me I thought was unstoppable. After all I had survived being on fire. 

    Life is not obligated to be perfect and flaw free. Nor is time. Both do not have morals or ethics. Feelings or emotions. It literally took the discovery of reading, running, yoga, and reading more to come to terms with this. Because although my soul was alive thanks to being burned; I now faced the challenges of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, physically regaining the use of my burned body parts, and facing the emotions of a person who seemed to have lived the first 26 years of her life half alive set on cruise control. 

    I had no idea what the future held but I was destined to find more heartache, more pain, and more destruction in order to reach the state in which I am in at life now. Every nanometer of the suffering I went through was worth the peace I feel today. It was especially worth it if my story helps even one person. 

     It was a decision I made on February 1st, 2015. I walked into my first yoga studio. It nearly brought me to tears. I had read many of the books on the shelves. I recognized the different deities and religious representations. The calming, peaceful atmosphere felt as though it spoke directly to my soul as if to say "welcome home."         Finally I had found serenity. The class itself nurtured my soul. It solidified my decision. I absolutely found my calling. I found "my personal legend." My entire life had led me to this point. This is how I can help others like myself find peace. Find help to heal traumas, physical and emotional pain, and to rise from the ashes just like I have.